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Unposed Questions

by Mama Would Be Proud

/
1.
The only emotion I wish to convey is fear. Lack of instruction just replaced its motions here. I'm a reasoning boy. I know logic ain't no toy. So let the poet's whip crack you sick just for thinking it. I'm sick: more temperatures to pick. Face it: we're not keen on convenience. The only thing I want to say is "comfortable". Because I'm not comfortable. My land says "Stay away!" and I ain't staying awake so you can save your coffee tape for another day. And that's the feeling that I hate the most: constantly bouncing around like a joke. Like I've been hung up so high and poached, "Let's get the vile out so we can sell the soul! Let's get the vile out so we can sell his soul!" You can't sell your soul. It's not yours to sell.
2.
I don't answer unposed questions. It's just there as it ceased to be. There's one thing that I'd want mentioned beneath a lap of dishonesty. I'm in sand and I'm in Christmas. I'm in stars, but not my sight. I think you oughtta try more patience. Yeah, patience not so sly. And I'll be the little bird patiently singing. So take the talent to be measured, mix it in with a pot of gold. One less mind you'd have to think about though his nose gets freezing cold. And his ears burn with this distance and it's not like breathing air. It won't let you gettin' used to. It's not a mystery I care. I'll be the little bird. Patient little bird if you need me to be the little bird. Once more I'm thinking so I can't focus this floor no more! I'm all out of perception like I bought it from some store.
3.
I don't ever hold my breath when I'm driving by cemeteries. I try to hope that death is still the same old territory. So I blink every time that I'm stopped at a traffic light. I sink into a side where I'd leave all my own baggage at the side of a conveyor belt at the airport where I must have fell asleep. I guess I must have fallen asleep. I saw a bitter snow: I was underneath two AC vents. I wasn't dressed for cold, so my mind just tried to warm me then with something I'd regret. So my blood keeps moving faster, yet it's not so sensitive. I just know what I am after. I like a little laughter. I hate distance disturbing peace of mind. But did it ever really exist or was I just a naive kid who thinks he can play some tricks with his independent indifference? I try to jump in line after awoken by a stewardess. I'm never quite on time. I guess my thoughts really take over this. I want to be the one you miss. I always feel the loneliest.
4.
I want to rain on your parade and love everything that you hate. I want to shake the solid state of mind that's been heating up my face. It gets flushed like down a drain. Until there's no more skin to paint and there's no blood to compensate. Nah you cleaned me out so long ago. And I don't need this iron energy. Don't want to waste my words with a shot that you won't even see. And I'm too further now, I couldn't try my best making myself make sense. Because it makes no sense. If it's me you can be honest. If it's me you can be honest. If it's me you can be honest. I want to rain on your parade and stick your face inside the cake. I'd rather not elaborate for the fear of consumption. Where these dreams keep me awake in a charade where hell is in my heart and it's here right here today. I need to tame what can't be faked and then lose myself inside that shade where we're cool and we're ok. What kills tomorrow is what hurts today. In shame I'll hold the blame, I'll still put the coins into the game and get the same from where it came. In air we live like love insane. And I'm through with this shelter over me. I need to be covered in the kind of cold that you can't even see. Alright!
5.
I'm no good at applying pressure on any wound I may have caused. Too soon to even measure what kind of lie I should put on. Because it freaks, it's shedding colors. It only speaks black and white. I'd think it'd be one or the other: seeing this day through one more night. It's weird being discarded. Sometimes you can't even fold. It's one thing to feel unwanted, but I can't take more. Really can't take more. You've been out of bed, I've been making my time worth making. My head won't stop shaking lately. I want to get lonely with you.You've been out of bed, I've been making my time worth making. My head won't stop shaking lately. I want to get lonely with you. I want to get lonely with you.
6.
You know you can't make a mistake. You keep your habits 'til it breaks. And you know, I won't insist on his public eye accident. Where he broke down in the morning, drove himself nauseous every night. He got sick, holed up at the happenin'. And the theme? Man, it's out of sight. I cut back all my armies, I sent letters in the voice of God. Singing "Death to any capitals and short ones in the garage." Because nothings as important as what's burning up your brain. You try taming it for almost twenty years, but you still fucking complain. Yeah you're so blue. Never got a thrill relaxin'. I keep my paranoia in this jug. I can't ever stop this tapping, my hands shake, I drop my cup! Yeah, I like to hear things shattering and when I cry it's like the falling rain. And it only rains for you sweet girl and you still fucking complain. That you're so blue and yeah it's true. But at least you're an ocean. Or a really nice pool.... or a really nice pool.... You know you can't make a mistake, you keep your habits 'til it breaks. But you know I won't insist on his public eye accident.
7.
If Lost... 01:05
If lost then you can return to the number pressed into the stitching. I put it there in case I lose you. In case I lose you. In case I lose you.
8.
Morning, this mourning was just vanity. Ten looks in the mirror can't buy you air to breath. But even this evening I'll be blacking out my sight. When the hours come to close on those sixteen dreams of mine. I want to change your heart beat. Tune it up with a drum key, make it sound less funny. Gives us noise, gives us money. Gives me death, gives me something I can't hold. (and I wanna hold) You want to make it easy you should practice what you teach. You inflate me with nothing 'til I'm falling like a leaf. I'm just one of a thousand all torn up clean with holes. At least I'm one who's swimming up in the garbage bag of souls. But you are the cells that are cycling through my blood swiftly in veins. Stinging with every thought I try not to complain, but I'd like to change your breathing. Make it ok, make it see me. Get it soft, get it longing, get it locked or have it yawing or just choking on the awning where you woke up this morning, it was just vanity. I say, "Morning, this mourning was just vanity. Mourning this morning was just vanity. Mourning this morning was just vanity."
9.
Hey all you unmarked white vans driving down the public street. You been trappin' up rapscallions in your cages sittin' sweet? Because there's nothing like a jolt of fury when you got no strength to use. I always end up aiming right at me, but that's the ritual I'd choose. And I won't will myself to sleep. No choices, I have to play along. I have to turn my cheek. Exploding knee, twisting in three, locked in two with one more sting: you have to play along even when you don't want to breathe. I guess I wouldn't mind being kidnapped is what I'm really trying to say. I long for one lonesome floorboard to score my head a stable place to lay. My moods will continue spinnin' so I'll never be wound up tight. I'm too mopey for all the grinning that I do. Wake up twelve times at night and that's the closure that I get. And I'm lucky to get that. Either/or I'm torn and my jaw is sore from the "let's just leave it there at that..." Won't will myself to sleep. No choices: I have to play along. I have to turn my cheek. Exploding knee, twisting in three, locked in two with one more sting: you have to play along even when you don't want to breathe. Even when you don't want to breathe.
10.
Skips 01:35
I swear I just skipped with my CD. I get one too many troubles for every pretty thing I see giving off some light. Some things just never go away. So like the stars just leave your mark on my personal space.
11.
Decisions dumb, down and done. You know eyes do deceiving, no choice but perceiving. Can't try to mislead it, I have to retrieve it when I can't run right if I'm not one to whom you're appealing, a fish when you're reeling, a place if you're feeling nauseous from stealing all of my breath and all of the alphabet. Tie in my death: even then I'll still be upset. I'm sinned not soothed. God takes it all out on my moods. Yeah he really likes changing to get me complaining so I've had it out with him too. Mostly when I can't speak, he does that considerately. He don't want to hear me, just shock me sincerely, never be nearing some peace that's endearing in all those clouds. When the rain comes we'll clean it out. And I do doubt the truth when I'm all without.
12.
Sometimes it really feels like you're talking to me through the speakers of my car, though I never felt the spark like a match lit in the dark. And I don't really feel so swell, but you're smiling patiently. So I try to smile back, I really only can react from the roots where trees are tapped. I crumble from the back seat like before and I think that I see that it's simple to seek and lonely to hide. And I long for that pressure and I don't know why. To think you'd be afraid and me be amazed can't handle yet censor these tear stains on my face. I try to only be like how you'd want me to be. And I'm too locked into that, you don't mind and that's not bad. I'm not a lion 'less I'm a cat. But who with teeth would want to king those jungle city clowns and be the leader of a pack. No I'm too shifted for that, let the rain lay on my back, and my mountain was just a path. I can't even miss myself anymore, bringing in all the pay in though my stomach is poor, but my heart is full and I need that to be my what all this was for. . . What all this was for. . .

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Recorded in the fall of 2010 in Nashville Tennessee by Stephen

Photo by Sarah Dalton

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released November 1, 2010

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Mama Would Be Proud Nashville, Tennessee

band out of water

band is
Stephen Roberts, Christian Baraks, Samuel Bernhardt,
Joe White, Bennett Littlejohn
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